The Plant Relationship analogy

I've been thinking a lot the last 24 hours about relationships....all kinds: friendships, acquaintances, family. What do they mean? Does each category of relationship demand a different treatment?

It is something on which I am still pondering.

I remember a saying from when I was a teenager: if you treated your friends like you treat your family, would they still be your friends? I've asked myself this question and come to some interesting conclusions.

1. I treat my friends and my family the same. I'm just as moody with my friends as I am with my family.
   
2. I believe we are all children of our Heavenly Father and hence, all family. So, I do not think any acquaintance should be treated any different than family. I honestly cannot see a distinction between the two.
3. All relationships must have boundaries. When my boundaries are crossed, WATCH OUT! For me it is protected space and I will fiercely defend it. Interestingly enough, my children are an extension of that space.

After this short and continuing analysis, I have come up with an analogy. Relationships are like plants. I believe Alma 32 analogy on faith perfectly fits with relationships--no matter the category an individual may fit in.

In my relationships I look for:

• people that awake and arouse my faculties (Alma 32: 27)
• that challenge who I am or what I believe so I can grow (Alma 32:27)

Here I begin to plant a seed, some think it should grow like a chia pet--immediately. I do not think this is the case and often withdraw myself from such demanding relationships. Again, I like how Alma suggests it: A seed (relationship), if not cast out by unbelief (or distrust), that begins to enlarge the soul and enlighten understanding is a wonderful and desired relationship. But, if the seed (relationship) grows not . . .well, you get the pictures. (v. 28, 32)

To further this analogy, I again draw from Alma. In order to maintain the plant that has grown from the seed...or to maintain the relationship that has grown from the initial meeting, it must be "nourished with great care, that it may get root." (v. 37) What happens to an un-"rooted" relationship? How can a relationship prosper, if it has not rooted?

Alma continues: to nourish one must have faith, diligence, and patience looking forward to the tree springing up unto everlasting life. (v. 41)

I find it challenging and frustrating when relationships are forced upon me. There is no root and the forceful nature of the situation often leads me to "distrust" and cast out seeds that could have been retained and nurtured.

I love the scriptures and their personal application to my life. I found this particularly striking this morning given a private situation yesterday. There are seeds I have discarded and need to replant and nourish better to see if the relationship "awakes and arouses my faculties" as stated by Alma. The interesting is this: not everyone will do this for me. Just as not everyone will "awake and arouse" you. More to ponder on. . .

I've had many people tell me I am holding up well despite all the pressure our family is currently under. They cannot see the ranging battle within me. I am not excited to move--Ryan knows that, but I am willing to do it for him. My consolation is I will be 5+ hours closer to my sister in Laramie and brother in Portland.

I think I need to read, Who Moved My Cheese, again. Now my challenge is to find the appropriate stash of cheese inside myself without having to look to outside, time-feeling, brain-numbing activities.