My theory on Motherhood. . .

I finished my booklet today, "What I wish I had known before I became a wife and mother"

Here are some favorite quotes I included and all the axioms I listed as well.

The mother-child relationship is paradoxical and, in a sense, tragic. It requires the most intense love on the mother’s side, yet this very love must help the child grow away from the mother and to become fully independent.

Erich Fromm, Psychoanalyst

Motherly love is not much use if it expresses itself only as a warm gush of emotion, delicately tinged with pink. It must also be strong, guiding and unselfish. The sweetly sung lullaby; the cool hand on the fevered brow, the Mother’s Day smiles and flowers are only a small part of the picture. True mothers have to be made of steel to withstand the difficulties that are sure to beset their children.

Rachel Billington, Writer

About becoming a wife. . .

• The challenge of "cutting the apron strings" is actually a challenge.
• Even though we know (as spouses) we are from different backgrounds and families, the difference are shockingly monumental.
• In-laws matter much more than I thought. Yet, ironically, they don't matter at all.
• I wish I had understood how important sex is to a man.
• Even when married, there are still times of loneliness.
• It is easy to hurt your spouse with cutting words.
• Sometimes I want to fight with my husband because I cannot decipher my own needs from my husband's.
• It was difficult--beyond comprehension--of what it would mean to go from being independent, to dependent; to be of one family origin and then absorbed into another; to have someone speak for me; and to be called Mrs. So-and-So. And, yes, I have a pride problem.

About becoming a mother. . .

• I had no idea my time would never be "my time" again.
• The ability to pronounce dinosaur names is a vital skill.
• If you have something nice, or beautiful, or breakable, it will be played with, get ugly and be broken.
• Screaming children are more stressful when they are your own.
• I had no idea who absolutely angry I could become at my own flesh.
• Scriptures pages are preferred for ripping over any other form of paper.
• It is indescribably heart-wrenching to watch your own child suffer.
• Fevers do horrible things to a small body.
• Teething children. . .well, it's not my favorite time.
• Arguing with small children is surprisingly easy.
• Everything you'll hear about potting training is a lie.
• Bowel movements becoming surprisingly important when your children are young.
• No "job" is as hard as being a stay-at-home mom.
• Leaving your children creates demanding yearning to be reunited.
• Even if you can get a job working at home, a work-at-home mom doesn't mean she is actually "home."
• Learn what is age-appropriate.
• Child Development. . .why didn't I take a class?
• I had no idea how easy it would be to neglect myself physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
• Personal worship takes on an entirely new meaning as I get in 2 scriptures a night.
• Laundry grows exponentially with each child.
• It is surprisingly easy to begin comparing yourself to "the perfect mom" down the street.
• Teaching sexuality, beginning at a young age,is required because of the world in which we live.
• Sibling rivalry is the ultimate irritation.
• Expect your children to bring out your worst.
• Writing on the wall is an innate desire, and so are hitting and throwing things.
• Parenting classes are invaluable!
• Anything can become a game. For example, running from mom and dad or marching to the bathroom for potty training.
  
• It is more fun to be a mom as your children get older.
• Everything and anything can and will happen in the 2 seconds it takes to turn your head.
• Heeding the warnings on shopping carts is a great idea.
• Children prefer simple meals.
• Each age and stage has its pros and cons, but the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.
• Grandparents are your greatest allegiance for help.
• You will get dumber with each child birth.
• Sunshine is a child's best friend.
• Finding a reliable babysitter is like finding the most reliable diaper. It's a lot harder than you'd think.
  
• You are the boss. Some days being the boss is a crappy job.
• Know your genetics. It's probably why your kids are weird.
• Laughter (even the fake laughs) can dissolve the thickest tension with a child.
• A schedule is critical.
• Crafts are a necessary evil.
• Learn and understand as much as you can about physical and mental illnesses.